The Creative Adult Is The Child Who Survived

"You are a no good, dirty son-of -a- bitch. You'll never amount to a damn," Dad said to me almost every time he beat with a belt. My beatings began at age eight and ended at age seventeen. Whippings from the belt landed at random on my body. Raised welts slowly expanded the skin on my face, back, legs. Any place at all. And every place.

Those snaps and cracks from the belt were like a bull whip. It was not unusual to receive punishment like that at least once a week. Then there was the constant pressure and anxiety that arose from wondering when the next kick from a boot, a twisted ear or slap in the face might knock me to the floor. I once was locked in a blackened stairwell that connected our cellar to the outside. I had no food, water or bathroom privileges. The spiders, cockroaches and stifling heat were what I remember most about those eighteen hours during that hot Iowa summer. I was eight years old.

My parents were alcoholics and my mother was mentally ill. I had no nurturing as a child. I was alone. By the time I entered the seventh grade, I was street smart and had lost all childhood innocence. Hell, I never had any innocence from the beginning. There was no maternal nurturing. None.

Child Abuse takes many forms and occurs for many reasons. Some types of abuse include sexual, physical, and emotional - among others. They can come from the hands of others who, themselves were abused as children. The abuser can be mentally ill, an alcoholic, or drug addict.

There is no such thing as child development in these cases. There is only survival. Children have a fantastic resiliency for physical and emotional survival. Years of continued stress and anxiety do, however, create many health-related problems as adults. For me it has been a life of depression, anxiety, constant need for control, and PTSD.

My abuse also created a driving force to succeed. My mantra has been those words that I was a no good dirty son-of-a bitch and would never amount to a damn. Therein, is my silver lining. I spent my entire adult life proving my dad wrong. I am one of the fortunate survivors who became successful in society. I am in good company with my lifelong depression. Others who functioned well despite depression included: President Lincoln, President Teddy Roosevelt, Sir Winston Churchill, Sir Isaac Newton, and creators F. Scott Fitzgerald and Charles Schulz (creator or "Peanuts").

That brings me to today's title, "The Creative Adult Is The Child Who Survived." Many survivors of child abuse use creative skills to combat the ghosts from their own darkened cellars of the past. Writers, actors, comedians, politicians - and even those of us 'common folks'.

There is something healing to the soul when we create. For me it's proving those words wrong that my dad said so often to me while being tortured. It made me a good physical therapist during my forty-year career. The satisfaction I received from helping my patients also healed me. My patients helped me as much as I did them. The joy I receive from the crowds during my storytelling shows across America proves my dad wrong. The laughter washes away any negative vibrations in my soul when I perform my "Cowboy Comedy Show." I am the Cowboy Poet Laureate of Tennessee. This honor was given to me by our Governor and the General Assembly.

The satisfaction I felt the day I carried the Olympic Torch before the start of the 1996 Atlanta Games proved my dad wrong. I had been chosen to carry the torch because I created numerous free health programs in my community. I am an over-achiever. When I hold a piece of stained glass art work that I create, I feel a sense of calm and pleasure.

Survivors use all sorts of creativity to heal themselves. Like many, I now write and my books are related to my experiences. My book, "The Shade Tree Choir" is about success despite abuse. Many of stories in my books, "PALS: Part One" and "PALS: Part Two" are pretty funny. And some are not - just like real life. Some survivors write poetry, novels or short stories to heal. My friend in Texas, Dan Hays wrote one book titled "Freedom's Just Another Word" and he is currently creating another.

Escaping the anxiety and depression for an hour or a day on the stage, playing music, working in a wood shop or just giving back to mankind can all heal the survivor.

The creating adult helps the child inside who survived.