David Nelson, Author & Cowboy Poet | PALS: Do You Wonder?

David Nelson, Author & Cowboy Poet | PALS: Do You Wonder?: Some Thoughts I Wonder About Why is a mosquito buzzing in my ear as loud as the Zephyr train that I heard as a kid approaching the Ea...

Do You Wonder?

Some Thoughts I Wonder About

Why is a mosquito buzzing in my ear as loud as the Zephyr train that I heard as a kid approaching the East Dubuque, Illinois Train Station? Yet, I don’t hear “Trixie” when she speaks?

How does a really heavy person get out of the back seat of a two-door car?

Did anyone ever whisper outside a hospital near the signs that read, “Quiet Hospital Zone?”

When I’m trying to swat a fly, it seems to remain still only when it lands on my body. Why is that?

Why do some people jump from spiders and run from snakes but won’t walk around the block for exercise? Maybe we need more insects and reptiles for weight loss.

Did you ever notice the shortest sentence ever spoken is found in the Bible? It is, “I am.” The longest sentence ever spoken is, “I do.”

Why do some employers refuse to hire people who smoke, and yet they hire people who are morbidly obese?

If I drink the rest of a glass that is half-empty, am I still a pessimist?

I drink two ounces of red wine a day because some reports say it’s healthy for my heart. Other reports say three ounces a day is considered heavy drinking. I wonder if I should stop going to communion?

Why is it that the older I become, the better I was?

Boys and men laugh when their friends call them disgusting names. Why don’t girlfriends and wives laugh if we were to say the same words to them? Aren’t they our friends?

Would I save money if I sprayed my yard to kill the grass and then mowed the weeds every week?

Why does it rain soon after I wash my truck?

Why does a clean car seem to ride better?

Does my dermatologist ever vacation at the beach?

Why do people ahead of me in line buy or redeem lottery tickets on days when I’m in a hurry?

Why do some drivers pull out in front of me and then slow down in the “fast lane?”

Stressed spelled backwards is desserts. If I eat a piece of cake while backing up, will I feel better?

David Nelson, Author & Cowboy Poet | PALS: Seize The Day

David Nelson, Author & Cowboy Poet | PALS: Seize The Day: “Carpe Diem – Seize The Day” I believe we think too much. Thinking and analyzing is healthy and an intelligent step for certain m...

Seize The Day

“Carpe Diem – Seize The Day”

I believe we think too much. Thinking and analyzing is healthy and an intelligent step for certain major events. However, sometimes our thinking can deter us from having fun. One piece of my philosophical mantra about happiness is to suck the marrow out of Life each day.

I liken it slapping a bull’s ass and then running as fast as you can. I rode a bull once. The key word is once. I’ve done many things once. I enjoy new experiences just for the exposure to what Life has to offer.

I have created pottery, made soap by hand, weaved baskets, made jewelry, played the dulcimer, enrolled in an improvisation class for comedy and attended an art class where we drank wine and drew a painting. My painting looked pretty nice by the time the wine bottle was empty.

I jumped from a fifty-foot cliff into the Gauley River in West Virginia, went sky diving, rafted the Colorado River in the bottom of the Grand Canyon and rafted the Gauley River – “Where nobody hears you scream.”

I flew in a hot air balloon, an ultra-light airplane and parasailed. I bottle-fed a six-week old black bear cub, once had a pig and a chicken in my living room during a Sunday morning Bloody-Mary party and rode my horse into the swamps of Florida through grasses so high my horse’s head could not be seen. I wore a pair of pajamas to a dance sponsored by the J-Cs. The dance theme was “Morning At Night”.

I went snorkeling at night in Jamaica, hooked a shark and brought it into our john boat in the keys of Florida and many times drove my car with the top down while a blow-up doll was in the passenger seat next to me. On Good Friday one year, I rode my horse down a busy highway while I was dressed like a rabbit. I wore that same rabbit outfit with my top down on the car out on the interstate. That rabbit was also worn to work when I was employed as a physical therapist. My patients loved it.

When I was single, I participated in a fund raising event for The American Cancer Society. It was called “Bidding for Bachelors.” We men created and paid for a date package. The women bid on us. Their monies went to the Society. Some lady paid $550 for a date with me. Go figure.

I wore many costumes to work during my career. I dressed as leprechaun, a cow that had udders, and even dressed as Mrs. Claus. One year, while dressed as Mrs. Claus, I donated my time and played Christmas carols, with my saxophone, for nursing home residents. I assume the laughter was from my outfit and not my playing ability. I hope anyway.

I rappelled a seventy-foot cliff, jumped off a train bridge into the Mississippi River, fished from a dugout in a jungle and had lunch with rebel fighters in that same jungle during a civil war in Central America. During the Civil Rights movement, I was the only White person in a bar frequented by Blacks. That bar was in Alabama.

Some things I have done more than once. I returned to that bar in Alabama many times. Some of the fellas said I was their “token White boy”. That was a fun time. During the “hippie” movement, I had a full beard during graduate school. I wore a shirt with a peace symbol and went into a bar filled with conservative, truck drivers and rednecks. I did that to see reactions and to see if I could make it out in one piece. I liked the bar with my Black friends better. 

Despite being tone deaf and unable to read music, I learned to play the saxophone and was pleased when I could play some fifty songs. The neighbor’s dog seemed to enjoy my playing. He howled along with each tune I blasted a tune or two.

I learned to create stained glass artwork, made simple woodworking projects and having never been on a horse before – I took riding lessons and six weeks later rode through three states on horseback over 200 miles. I was a street entertainer for the City of Gatlinburg, Tennessee a few summers. Here is the link to see me. http://youtu.be/7HLy9hpVJ6c

I once listened to a cowboy poem and told myself I could do that. Years later, the Governor and General Assembly of Tennessee designated me as the first-ever Cowboy Poet Laureate of Tennessee. I have performed across America and opened for many international music stars. I now supplement my income performing my Cowboy Comedy Show. I have performed on NPR, Florida Public Television and have been featured in numerous print media.

I caught alligators with my bear hands, snorkeled with some fifty, huge manta rays and stood in the eye of a hurricane that passed through our town in Florida. I even ate a light bulb – just to prove to someone that I could. I won the bet.

I wrote a book about managing stress. I formed a speaking company and travelled throughout Florida sharing my knowledge and my book. I produced health-related videos and sold them worldwide. I have educated and entertained people from all walks of life. Why? Because I told myself I could. I believe there is nothing that keeps any of us from achieving what we want from Life.

Being spontaneous is part of me. I am addicted to the adrenaline rush that Life has to offer. I will leave the comforts of my home in a second and head out on any adventure. It is that attitude that keeps me smiling and keeps me young.

I have other core beliefs that guide me. We should give back to others in our communities. The more we give to others, the more we give to ourselves. I donate a percentage of my book and entertaining profits to non-profit groups and schools. I smile and take a minute to talk with old people. I like old people and often wonder what their stories might be. I say, “Hello” to strangers, smile often and laugh hard. I don’t judge others.

I have never forgotten my roots and my poor upbringing. When I return to where I was raised, I go back to my neighborhood and sit and think about that little frightened boy from years ago. My alcoholic parents and mentally ill mother emotionally and physically abused me during my childhood. I believe I am no better than anyone else and don’t “look down” on the less fortunate.

What is next for me? I have a meeting tomorrow with a talent agency that is looking for actors. Boy, I hope they don’t want me to advertise adult diapers for old people. I hope it’s a Viagra commercial – not that I need it – mind ya.

One day I shall ride in a helicopter, perform my Cowboy Comedy at a major university and sit with young folks to motivate them about believing in themselves. I would also tell them to kick the ass of anyone who bullies them. I don’t like bullies. I don’t care if they are little kids or the wealthy in our society who try to tell us what to do. I don’t like politicians. I also don’t like greed. Dante’ wrote about greed in his story “Inferno”. Read it sometime, it’s a great book.

My book, The Shade Tree Choir is being shopped in Hollywood to become a movie. I look forward to taking all my friends to the opening.

And so I challenge you, the reader of my words, to stop thinking so much. Learn a new task, be spontaneous, find a new hobby, laugh hard and help others. And you too will feel young as I do. For in two days I shall turn 65. I feel like I am 30.

You can enjoy my stories in my books at http://www.davidnelsonauthor.com

My Cowboy Comedy Show wed address is www.cowboycomedyshow.com

Here's a link to a one-minute book trailer http://youtu.be/y3EWghb6qn

Songs have been written about one of my books. Here are the links.

http://youtu.be/oQApYp1S9O0

http://youtu.be/O5I_XS6xb70